Judges, It's time to reveal your scores...10,10,10.

The first dance is planned...something uneventful but meaningful to "our song"...No, not the Taylor Swift little number, but "OUR" song...LOL.

I'm a tad disgusted about all of this. I wanted a big number with costume changes and lights and a montage of songs...but it's looking like maybe a small little production that may get one or 2 hits on You Tube...LOL. I just can't find time to get it all done.

I just dread doing the electric slide (boogie woogie woogie)...and Lord knows what else is out there these days. My girls said that we had to do the Soulja Boy. I'm aware of it, but not sure it's as easy as the Macarena...LOL. I'm getting old, people.

I wonder if I could get Mr. Chad to come and grab me and say..."No one puts, Baby, in the corner."...LOL.

Mr. Chad has no desire to dance and unless it's slow...it's unlikely he will...well, after a 12 pack he may be inclined to do "the Rilo"...so I have to keep my eye on him...b/c YOU do NOT want to see "the Rilo"...LOL. Of course, the thought of him doing the Soulja Boy brings a chuckle, too. It's as much his day as it is mine, so he can do whatever he wants to do...including the Soulja Boy...LOL... 'cause I know I'm shakin' my groove thang. Sorry, Len.

Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe
Watch me Crank It
Watch me Roll
Watch me Crank Dat Soulja Boy
Then Super Man Dat Hoe
Now, Watch me You...(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Now, Watch me You...(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Now, Watch me You...(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Now, Watch me You...(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

10,9,8,7,6...and so on. I hope you will stick with me.

The 11th Hour

Looks like a mess doesn't it?...LOL. I can't look without crying...LOL. Most of you, ...probably none of you have a clue as to what or where this is? I won't lie. I had no idea. This is the front of Casa di Giulietta. You still don't know do you?...It's the house of Juliet in Verona, Italy. Yes, that Juliet...the girl of Romeo's dreams...and it's where my "this is the man for me" moment begins today.

I got my new engagement ring and my proposal, though not the one planned according to Mr. Chad...I will try to put the story in written word, but could never do it justice...no matter how hard I try. Here it goes...

For weeks the letter, returned from the post office, stayed at the bottom of the stairs. Lonely. I felt like Lot's wife when I passed it and was scared to turn it over for fear of what I might find. So, I never did...until yesterday. The stairs were crammed with a plethora of who knows what. I made an attempt to straighten them and streamline the items there. I saw the envelope and as I went to move it...it fell and landed addressed side up...so, I looked. Casa di Giulietta Verona, Italy

I was stunned. What the heck? I admit, I was somewhat disappointed. I knew he had been trying to get a letter to Italy, but assumed it was going to the Pope for a blessing. Anyway, I knew what Casa meant, but who the heck were the Giulietta's...LOL? I placed the letter back on the stairs.

A few hours later I stopped by to see Mr. Chad on my way to meet with the caterers. I told him I had seen the envelope.He hands me a check to pay for some things and says...I'm sorry it's not going to happen. My heart stopped. (Everybody knows that we didn't get married last year after planning a wedding and those words pierced my heart.) I simply replied, "what?".

Life started in slow-motion. Colbie Caillat starts singing in the background, Take time to realize, and I loathe, for lack of better words, and against my own Psycho-babble BS that I feed my kids, I HATE that song! That your warmth is. Crashing down on in. Then he starts.

I love you and wanted to give you the best proposal I could. I love you and want you to be my wife. I have tried to get a letter to Juliet's House. You know, from Romeo and Juliet?...for your proposal. See people post love notes and write on the walls to their loved ones.

Take time to realize,That I am on your side . (His eyes get watery...and I can feel mine doing the same.) I sent a note to you asking you to be my wife and wanted them to put it on the wall and take a picture for you b/c I can not take you to Verona (nor would he even fly there with me, folks...LOL) Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.But I can't spell it out for you, Will you be my wife?

No it's never gonna be that simple No I cant spell it out for you...

If you just realize what I just realized, Then we'd be perfect for each other And will never find another Just realized what I just realized We'd never have to wonder i f We missed out on each other now.

Then it happened. the perfect moment in time...the perfect words said. I watched a tear fall from his eye and I was gone. I told him how I loved him like no other man in this world. Time was stopping altogether and I couldn't get the words out..."You're the man of my dreams...my best friend...the father of my future son..the person I want to fall asleep with EVERY night"...I couldn't get it out though, so I sat there and cried and we hugged and it was settled.

Take time to realize This all can pass you by..

Didn't I tell you

It's not always the same

No it's never the same

If you don't feel it to.

If you meet me half way

If you would meet me half way.

It could be the same for you.

I got my ring that evening, standing in his parents living room, preparing to go and water the tommy-toes...LOL.

Just realized what I just realized

We'd never have to wonder

BTW, did I tell you about my "new" favorite song?...LOL

11,10,9,8,7...and so on. I hope you will stick with me.

12...one dozen

Here it comes... Marriage is putting all your eggs in one basket...LOL. I know, corny, right?...but very true. It is that moment in your life when you find the one person that convinces you that they are the "end all/be all"...LOL.

With 12 days to go, I am there. ( LOL...I have been for a while.) However, I want to tell you about the most current "this is the man for me" moment...b/c I have had 2 of those in the last 2 days...LOL. Today will be about one of them and I'll share the other with you in the next post.

Mr. Chad was saddened that I didn't bring the girls with me when I went home on Sunday night. I don't know why it surprised me, but it did. After 5 years, I guess I could assume he loves them like his own. I know he says that all the time and I think he does, but this time it was very different. I could see the sadness and disappointment. Does it make sense if I say that it made me happy that he was sad? Happy and grateful in a way that you feel when you've just dodged a turtle in the road. It seems like something so small but the value in it is immeasurable.

I am reminded of that quote about families from Lilo and Stitch, " This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It is little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good. "...dang, I'm crying again...LOL. I will never make it through another pregnancy...LOL...heck, this wedding blog is draining me.

I am so blessed. I feel good about the changes occurring. I am ready to start a new chapter of my life where there is more than 1 main character...where there is foreshadowing, and suspense, and conflict...and in the end a little resolution. I am ready.

Once upon a time....life.......more living............they lived happily ever after. The End...or better still,...The Beginning.

12,11,10,9,8...and so on. I hope you will stick with me.

Lucky 13

13 of us...

Bride:me (1)
Groom: Mr. Chad(2)
Best man: dad of Mr. Chad(3)
Groomsmen: cousin of Mr. Chad(4)
brother of me(5)
other brother of me(6)
Usher: son of C2(7)
Maid of Honor: eldest daughter of me(8)
Matron of Honor: Be Fri St End, C2(9)
Bridesmaid: wife of brother of me(10)
Junior Bridesmaids: youngest child of me(11)
daughter of C2(12)
Flower girl: lil' cousin of Mr. Chad(13)


I laugh about the above picture...I would LOVE for the day's pics (with the wedding party) to look like this, but I'm kinda picturing things from that new CMT show My Big Redneck Wedding. I have to laugh or I will cry thinking about it...LOL.

Actually, I can't wait to see Mr. Chad all dressed up...or his dad, for that matter. I want lots of pics of the 2 of them together. My brother got married a year and a half ago, so I've seen my family dressed up recently. I have seen them dressed up several times come to think of it...LOL, but this time is more special...it's MY wedding...LOL. (My little brother had a beautiful wedding and I love him and his wife...so no disrespect, Little Bro...LOL.)

Have to remember to take lots of pics of me with my girls, too. I have oodles of them, but I'm normally the photog, and if I'm in the pic...it looks like we're either aliens or posing for Myspace...LOL. And...if you know me, every event is all about the pictures. Why? Everyone in unison...for my scrapbook. :o)

13,12,11,10,9...and so on. I hope you will stick with me.

14 days (or 2 weeks...LOL)

Ok, so we all know I fell off the diet wagon...I am heavier now than I have ever been...and It's really too late to do anything about it before the wedding. I take full responsibility for that...LOL. I guess, I will just have to focus on my tan, hair, make-up and every fat girl's downfall...shoes.

I don't know this girl...
---->>>>
but I envision looking like this on my "big day". It's kind of funny, b/c I am rather opposite of her. I have Kendra-(Girls Next Door)blonde hair, a chubby face, and pencil thin lips...since I am not a magician, I am going to have to leave myself in the hands of Tosha, my hairdresser, who actually follows this blog daily. In fact, frets if there is a lapse in posts...LOL.

It almost angers me that I did not get back into shape. After the wedding, when I can focus on something else...LOL, like the house...I will not diet then either, but focus more on health and beauty. The girls will get out and walk with me, but I'm going to have to try and do something with Mr. Chad, too. :o)

Well, the good news is my photogs are good with editing...the bad news, well...there is no bad news...beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and if he loves me now, he'll be crazy over me when I'm thinner...I mean, healthier...LOL.

14,13,12,11,10...and so on. I hope you will stick with me.

Fifteen...

Fifteen
William Stafford

South of the Bridge on Seventeenth

I found back of the willows one summer

day a motorcycle with engine running

as it lay on its side, ticking over

slowly in the high grass. I was fifteen.

I admired all that pulsing gleam, the

shiny flanks, the demure headlights

fringed where it lay; I led it gently

to the road and stood with that

companion, ready and friendly. I was fifteen.

We could find the end of a road, meet

the sky on out Seventeenth. I thought about

hills, and patting the handle got back a

confident opinion. On the bridge we indulged

a forward feeling, a tremble. I was fifteen.

Thinking, back farther in the grass I found

the owner, just coming to, where he had flipped

over the rail. He had blood on his hand, was pale—

I helped him walk to his machine. He ran his hand

over it, called me a good man, roared away.

I stood there, fifteen.

_________________________________

Do you remember being fifteen? When marriage and weddings seemed so far away? A time when you felt awkward just taking a shower...LOL. I'm always talking about time slipping away and I have a 15 year old that I just can't get enough of...She is in this awkward stage...not a girl, not yet a woman...but such a lady.

Aside from the craziness that is this age, she is so grounded and, might I add, perfect...LOL. I have to thank her Dad for some of this, but she was different from the beginning. I watch her with her little sister and have to turn my head so that she does not see me cry (like I am right now just thinking about it...LOL). I am so happy when my girls are around and I love them the same, but differently...but I have so much faith in Catarina. She really is a godsend. Something great awaits her, and I enjoy watching her change...while we wait.

15,14,13,12,11...and so on. I hope you will stick with me.

Sixteen Candles...or 125...LOL.

So I was set on coffee mugs as favors, but my mom just found a great place where you can buy large candles for next to nothing. No, they are not Yankee, and not really quite the caliber of Yankee, but they are nice and the scent stays for a long time. Yet, I would want to box them with a ribbon around them like above, and that would make the presentation more than the favor...LOL...but that would be a "me" thing to do...LOL.

Today is a high stress day, just trying to finalize all those last minute plans...LOL. I want to have it all covered and figured out by Saturday-the 2 week mark. I, also, wanted to do as much as possible before the girls arrived, but I'm too late...They will be here today.

Once they get here, I will lose all sense of time and things will fall to pieces b/c I have missed them so much that I just want to lay around and do nothing with them...LOL...and that's probably what I'll do...candles and coffee mugs will have to wait until next week.

16,15,14,13,12...and so on. I hope you will stick with me.