Sunday, August 9, 2009

The saddest day of the year is always in August.

Every August it's the same thing. The girls go to their other home after being here for 2 to 3 months and the longest separation of the year starts. I don't see them again until October (so, it's a minimum of 7 weeks before I get another hug, kiss, or high-five.)! It is the most difficult time of the year for me...and unless you live this life of back-and-forth sharing you have no idea the pain I feel.

For days, I cry and lay in their beds smelling their sweet scent on their pillows. I sniff the shampoo bottles to remind me of them standing beside me. I hold their stuffed animals. I straighten their closets and rooms...and then I cry, again. This never changes.

I do my best not to cry when we do "the exchange", but rarely does it work and I usually cry the 7 hours home. My husband lives in a egg shell environment for days, never knowing what will set me off into a crying/screaming/cursing frenzy.

When I talk to the girls, for their first few days back, and the conversations are short and sweet, I am hurt, but then I have to realize this is just the life they live and if they were here...the conversations would be about the same...LOL.


CBB

2 comments:

Greeneyedogre said...

If you weren't there mommy you would like a creepy creep stalker lol! " I smell their shampoo..." Never fear Katerina updates her facebook every 5 seconds..it's almost like being there.

j u s t i m a g i n e said...

AW my heart breaks for you....take this time to look after yourself and it will make you an even better mum for it !!xx