Sunday, August 9, 2009

The saddest day of the year is always in August.

Every August it's the same thing. The girls go to their other home after being here for 2 to 3 months and the longest separation of the year starts. I don't see them again until October (so, it's a minimum of 7 weeks before I get another hug, kiss, or high-five.)! It is the most difficult time of the year for me...and unless you live this life of back-and-forth sharing you have no idea the pain I feel.

For days, I cry and lay in their beds smelling their sweet scent on their pillows. I sniff the shampoo bottles to remind me of them standing beside me. I hold their stuffed animals. I straighten their closets and rooms...and then I cry, again. This never changes.

I do my best not to cry when we do "the exchange", but rarely does it work and I usually cry the 7 hours home. My husband lives in a egg shell environment for days, never knowing what will set me off into a crying/screaming/cursing frenzy.

When I talk to the girls, for their first few days back, and the conversations are short and sweet, I am hurt, but then I have to realize this is just the life they live and if they were here...the conversations would be about the same...LOL.



Greeneyedogre said...

If you weren't there mommy you would like a creepy creep stalker lol! " I smell their shampoo..." Never fear Katerina updates her facebook every 5's almost like being there.

j u s t i m a g i n e said...

AW my heart breaks for you....take this time to look after yourself and it will make you an even better mum for it !!xx