There are moments in our life when time stops...sometimes for happiness--when I had my children, when I said, "I do" to Mr. Chad, finally graduating from college, but yesterday morning, in a moment that I can not explain...it stopped for all the wrong reasons.
My cousin, my friend, passed away unexpectedly. She just isn't here now. I have cried til I'm sick and when I think I can pull it all together, I think of her mom and start crying again. I hear the words over and over, "Kim is no longer with us." What? Yes, she is I keep thinking...I talked to her yesterday on FB. We were making fun of hippies and planning our trip in September. What is going on? Where? How? Why?
I start crying again.
I have 2 cousins, that along with me, considered ourselves the black sheep. Gina, Kim, and I just always marched to a different drum. (We have bigger mouths and normally didn't refrain from using them.) We just always know what is best...for us...and probably for you.Being right so much was hard...LOL. It is no doubt the reason we bonded so well.
Kim has lived in NY for about 8 years. She left the mountains about the time I got sucked back in...and she still couldn't believe that I came back. Over the past year, we really started talking and getting closer after she found me on FB.
A few months ago, we decided we were going to have a BIG TIME at her place. Labor Day Weekend was going to be a party to remember. We were planning excursions, Thousand Islands. We were planning fun, karaoke. We were planning food, lots of carbs.
And now she is not here.
I can't stop crying.
I just don't understand. For the past few months, she has been putting her health as top priority. She hired a trainer. Worked out. Lost weight. She was probably in the best shape of her life. I just don't understand.
When we talked about the trip, we worried about Gina "not having the money" (she always says that...LOL). I said V, our other cousin, would say she was going until the last minute then something would come up (she always says that...LOL.) But me, I told her, "you know me, I'm always ready for a trip. I promise I'm coming to see you."
Yet here I am, not ready for THIS trip, but I promised I was coming to see her...and I will.
Kim, I love you and miss you.