HP-35

My company got bought out by HP.....and I'm 35. Go figure.

It leads me to today's writing...about the fear that comes with marriage when you are 35 and your company gets bought out and you are taking on a new house payment, still owe student loans, and have 2 kids(so far) that will need to be sent to college.

I am so scared that I will not be able to pull my weight after Mr. Chad and I are married. I don't want the financial burden of cohabitating, I mean marriage, to be on his shoulders only. I want to be able to make at least what he does (or more...LOL) and split it all bills down the middle. If the house payment is $900, I want to pay $450...if the water bill is $50, I want to pay $25. Does that make sense? I mean, I'm the one with a college education and he makes twice as much as I do.

His biggest fear is not paying the bills, or how much I make--he's more concerned with how much i spend...LOL. I have to really watch those numbers until I decide what I truly am going to be when I grow up. I really want to be a doctor, but am I too old, will it cost too much, how will it affect my time with my girls...there is so much to ponder and time keeps slipping away from me. (Hey Em, do you remember when we thought you and Solmo were old?...and we're now that age...LOL.)

I have to look to my Aunts though for inspiration...Black didn't start teaching until she was 30. Em didn't become an RN until her 30s. So, I'm probably alright in the job field, brother Joel Osteen (http://joelosteen.lakewood.cc/site/PageServer?pagename=JOM_homepage) says to remind ourselves, "My time is coming" and I'm sure mine is...but it still doesn't help rest my mind about how that house payment will get made every month. :o)

35,34,33,32,31...and so on. I hope you will stick with me.