Friday, April 11, 2008

79 Hill

O.K., so this title won't make much sense to most people, but it will to my family and that's what matters, but I'll tell you this... it was a magical place when I was a kid. Other than that, it has nothing to do with my wedding or this blog today except that it fit the number of today's entry. :o)

When planning a wedding, there are so many little details that sometimes you lose site of the long term and focus on the event. I do not want to be one of those people. A friend of mine recently said, "don't you think there are more important things to worry about other than the napkins?". Yes, I do, but I'm not sure how personal I want to get when the world has access to my thoughts.

I mean, I could share that having a baby is important to Mr. Chad and I, but that right now we are happy with my 2 beautiful girls and a baby can wait...but then I would have to go into it more and tell you how I'm scared that if I wait too much longer, I may be to old to enjoy it or to have a healthy pregnancy.

I could, also, share that he smokes and I LOATHE smoking(not smokers)...but I do know it's an addiction, and it's bad for him, for me, for our family. He almost died from cancer at a young age(20s) and it makes me physically sick and hinders my breathing. However, then I 'd have to tell you that I can't make him stop, he blames me for smoking most of the time and that I've cried myself to sleep over this issue several times.

I could share that I'm worried about being happy in the place that he loves more than anywhere on this earth, and that I ran from when I was 18, but then I would have to tell you that I love him and I hope that makes everything alright in the end.

So,...Yes, I know about the "Big Picture" and although you don't see it on here. It's in my thoughts all the time. None of us can can actually predict a happily ever after...but we can always hope for a work in progress.

79,78,77,76,75...and so on. I hope you will stick with me.

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